Artificial Intimacy: Who We Become When We Talk to Machines by Sherry Turkle
I just came across an article from The Atlantic that
focused on the work of Gad Saad and his belief about the toxic nature of
empathy that is leading to the decline of “the west”, Saad, who holds a
doctorate in marketing, seems to take a zero sum approach to empathy, where the
ability to share feelings and relate to others, once held as a true sign of one’s
humanity or appreciation for life, has now become toxic and woke. While it seems
that Saad is more concerned with empathy in policies and regulations, his
belief in empathy as toxic and destructive has received much attention from
right wingers and what Gil Duran has nicknamed the Nerd Reich, a band of
technofascists whose desire for efficiency and control have led to world wars. While
Saad’s views on empathy are bizarre and misanthropic, they are gaining,
probably for many of the reasons that Sherry Turkle has investigated our
relationships with technology for nearly 50 years. In her latest book, Artificial Intimacy: What We Become When We Talk to Machines, Turkle treads new ground
in the area of human machine intersection, but still manages to investigate the
deleterious effects that technology has on our ability to communicate, to open
up and become vulnerable, to relate, and to empathize with others. In past
books, Turkle has investigated how technology like social media, email, and
text messaging impacts our abilities to have conversations or communicate our
feelings or ideas, or how digital toys often take the place of real
relationships for children, blurring their schema for not only living things
but also relationships. In this book, Turkle examines many of these same problematic
outcomes, but she is looking at how chatbots and AI have impacted several areas
of human relationships, connectivity, creativity, and thinking.
Even if you’ve never read Turkle’s other books or are
familiar with her research, this is a great book to start with as the subject,
artificial intelligence, is at the forefront of the news and seems to be an
inescapable part of our online and digital experiences. However, what I found
most fascinating in this book was Turkle’s interviews and documentation of how others
are using chatbots in their daily lives. As an educator, I was glad to see that
Turkle takes a constructivist and humanist approach to analyzing the
participants’ use of AI, examining not only it’s impact on their abilities to
think and classify information, but more significantly how AI dependency might
impact their relationships with others. Through using theoretical frameworks
from developmental psychologists like Erik Erikson and Jean Piaget, Turkle
notes that prior developmental milestones and markers of cognition and identity
development may be bypassed or unresolved which may have significant implications
for individuals and society as they opt out of tasks that may be challenging, difficult,
or even confrontational. As Turkle reminds readers with Erikson’s theory in
particular, the developmental stages are not always resolved in a linear
fashion, but we often face these conflicts throughout our lives. While
resolution often results in a positive development in our authentic selves or identity,
an unresolved conflict may have a detrimental impact on our psyche, leading to
issues in identity diffusion, mistrust, and even despair. Proponents of AI
claim that it leads to efficiency and an ability to personalize our interests
and learning, yet Turkle’s own experiences documenting the obsequiousness of AI
and several popular chat programs show that its demonstration of feelings or
emotions are shallow and misleading. She also reminds readers that human
relationships and learning are messy and not easily coded or refined by
altering a sequence in a program. Rather, relationships and learning take time,
patience, empathy, and determination, characteristics that many in the tech
industry suggest that we bypass in order to bring us short-term satisfaction or
joy that eventually leaves us isolated and alone and possibly with misguided ideas
about relating to other people. In fact, I was surprised to read how many
individuals that Turkle met with who repeatedly opted for digital relationships
with chatbots because they are easier to manage and control and do not offer
the give-and-take negotiation that is an essential part of growing a
relationship. Another important factor that Turkle stresses is the role of the
pandemic in accelerating the move towards chatbots as a kind of replacement for
human relationships. She notes her own challenges with the limited connections that
social distancing enabled, and presents the turn towards digital relationships
with AI as part of a result of the social isolation from the pandemic. Yet,
Turkle’s own research on our relationships with technology also indicates that
this was an inevitable destination as one of her books, 2011’s Alone
Together is subtitled Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from
Each Other. While much of her prior research examines children and the elderly
and how the use of technology presents them with a simulated connection that
they often accept as real. Yet, Artificial Intimacy touches all areas of
human relationships, work, and life, examining how people from across different
communities and backgrounds have all begun to replace real, human relationships
with artificial intelligence.
Turkle frames this simulated connection through artificial
intelligence as an emergency that has further enhanced anxiety and stress while
also delaying typical markers of adulthood like intimacy and trust. She also
documents case studies of AI that have done harm to children and adolescence,
and how tired and time-constrained parents sometimes turn to AI to fulfill
their parenting duties, or how children respond to AI-enabled devices like
Alexa or Siri. Turkle reminds readers that while we may gain efficiency, easy
answers, and even short-lasting pleasure or joy, it often comes at the expense
of our privacy and possibly our identities, ability to trust, initiative, or
intimacy. While the chapters on childhood and adolescence are concerning about
how AI is impacting developmental milestones, I found the chapters looking at
love and work even more shocking. Learning more about how people depend on AI
for companionship and work skills opened up new insights into how AI is replacing
these areas of our lives and making individuals less able to confront the
typical challenges of life. There were two other chapters that also looked at
how AI is becoming more of a part of therapy and how people (and companies) are
using AI to manage mourning. I found these last two chapters equally concerning
and somewhat disturbing. It seems that AI would be counterintuitive to therapeutic
practices, especially those in psychoanalysis and Rogerian therapies, but it
seemed like therapists and individuals who Turkle interviewed were of the
belief that AI’s use in therapy was inevitable and would bring benefits. While
therapists viewed its use as a means to provide further insights into analyzing
patterns, dreams, and suggesting treatments or practices, patients seemed to
appreciate the accessibility that AI therapists provide in relation to cost,
time, and customization. As Turkle noted in some of her research participants,
AI therapists don’t necessarily challenge these patients, often allowing
patients to dictate the terms. What was also surprising was that not all companies
promoting AI therapy need to issue disclaimers either. The chapter on mourning
was also shocking to read, but also understanding. As Turkle notes, accepting
death is one of the most challenging tasks of being a human, but it allows us
to resolve the grieving process. Not accepting death creates a sense of melancholy
on the individual level. AI companies have begun to exploit the desire to address
death by creating digital avatars and AI-recreations of loved ones by uploading
text messages, emails, videos, photos and other digital documents. Not only
does it raise moral and ethical concerns, but Turkle notes the issues of
privacy and consent, as most likely the deceased have not provided consent. Turkle’s
research suggests that this willingness to revive the dead in an unliving manner
prevents us from grieving and healing. It’s this kind of disruption, the
inability to resolve the conflicts of life that AI has facilitated in the past
few years.
Artificial Intimacy is an important book that many
people should read. It’s a book that is especially important for parents and
teachers, as it can provide us with a better understanding of the risks and consequences
that AI poses to our children and students. While Turkle raises alarms and
calls AI dependency a state of emergency, the presentation of the book’s subjects
and research participants is empathetic and understanding. Yet, she also calls
on readers to reclaim the real and reject the artificial, noting how AI not
only limits our relationships with others, but it also reduces our agency and
decision making. We are outsourcing our lives with the promise of efficiency
and customization. The cost is our privacy, our identity, and our minds. With the
recent attacks on empathy and the stress of efficiency, Turkle’s work and analysis
throughout her career and this book in particular are relevant and meaningful. Highly
recommended. Many thanks to Little, Brown, and Company and NetGalley for
sharing an advanced copy of this wonderful and important book.
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